Very few thoughts littered Jeremy’s mind as he shuffled his way through the front door. What had been an intended easy paper pushing six hour work day turned into a nine hour massacre and last second TPS report submissions.
To say he was tired and sluggish would be an understatement. Unfortunately, it was his turn to cook tonight. He already dialed the Tim’s Pizza Palace for a delivery, so all that was left was a nice long shower and a night of the new made for television series Nerdy Space Vixons.
It was a terrible show. But a good kind of terrible. The kind someone could switch their brain off and let the good times flow between his ears.
Jeremy loosened his tie as he reached the door to the bathroom. “Huh. Weird. I don’t remember leaving the light on.“ It was possible he left it on. He had been a little sidetracked this morning on both time and the odd discussion Blake was so gung-ho about. His brain quickly satisfied the misstep as he turned the knob.
Sadly, his brain had been working rather hard all day and could not come up with the scenario that would lye before him as the door opened fully. There, right before him, stood a slender, large chested woman covered in only a bath towel that more laid upon her rather then covered her. Her long auburn hair swirled through the air as her baby blue eyes rested upon him with a deep passion that only his heart could interpret.
The next moment he was on the floor several feet away, and an assortment of pots and pans all around him. His face screamed in pain and so did he as his hands covered his face in the hope they could lighten up the nerves in some way. They couldn’t.
“PERVERT!” The woman yelled over his howls, and bloodied nose. “I’m calling the cops. Jail is the only good place for sickos like you!” With bath towel wrapped more firmly around her bodice. She stomped over to the phone and began to dial.
“I live here!”
She stopped on the last number. “What?” She took his words in and chewed on them a little bit before setting down the phone. “You’re Jeremy Wilson.” She stated flatly, comely disappointed by his display of manliness.
To be fair though she did hit him pretty hard. It did send him across the room, though this really doesn’t help out his manliness at all. Jeremy kept his hand over his most likely broken nose as he stood up. “Yeah.” He said cautiously. “Who are you? How’d you get in here?”
She crossed her arms over the towel. “I’m Mia Brooks. Your new tenant.” Mia almost yelled like he should know this information. “It’s about time you showed up! I was waiting outside all day. It was luck that I found the key under the mat. I even turned up the AC, it was so stuffy in here.”
“Um. I just posted that this morning. I’ve been at work all day.”
“Of course and the first thing you want when you get home is a peep show. Maybe I will call the police.”
“Stop it. Okay. I didn’t know you were in there.”
By this point Jeremy had maneuvered himself over to a cabinet, taking out some paper towel for his still bleeding nose. He checked it and surprisingly it wasn’t broken but was still sore enough that it made him wince. Mia still stood there arms crossed, eyeing him suspiciously.
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Right. Cause I’m forcing you to stand in my kitchen naked.” At that Mia’s face turned bright crimson as she raced back to the bathroom, slamming the door. Jeremy strolled over as he heard muffled sounds through the door. “Also I know it might be hard but if you press the little button on the doorknob, it might keep people out.” He called through the door only being answered with a quiet click.
The water started running, ending whatever conversation they could have had. In the living room sat ten large suit cases each a different color and brand. Jeremy’s shoulders sunk as the notion of sometime in the near future he would be carrying all of them to her room.
Said room, one of which Blake had suggested, was the master bedroom Jeremy’s parents once used. It had been years since he’d been up there. Climbing the stairs, he found himself starring at the blank walls where a slightly brighter square patches littered each of them. The bed was still there, made like it had been the last night he set foot in here, and the mirror hanging from the closet door reflected all of the nothing that only dust bunnies could fill.
A swift knocking from downstairs alerted to him that his pizza had finally come. Good. At least he didn’t have to cook. He sniffed a few times, making sure the blood had finally stopped before he wadded up the red towel and tossed it into the corner metal trash can with a flower painted on it.
He pulled out his wallet for the money, counting out the bills, as a tall skeletal woman stumbled through the door. “Hey.” She yawned. “Heard you had a place for rent.” She had on a backpack, and a business suit case in her left hand. She shoved both into his arms without a word, slumping onto the couch.
“You can’t just walk in here!” Jeremy bellowed but it was useless as she was fast asleep, curled up on the cushioned seat. She wore a wrinkled dress shirt with a pink undershirt and jeans ripped to shreds but still latched onto her body as a last resort. Her very short purple hair only made her pale complexion that much more pale and it didn’t help she had a big nose with three piercings to draw attention to it.
Jeremy looked around to set this woman’s stuff, finding none, he just dropped them on the floor. Back in the kitchen he braced himself on the wall and let the situation sink in. Renters. She had seen the ad. She knew where the key was and let herself in like Mia had. Upon retrospect the key under the mat was probably the dumbest place to hide the dang thing.
Jeremy pulled out his cellphone, switching between the five numbers he selected Blake’s, giving way to the ominously dull ring. Jeremy’s eyes wandered as the cell rang. The Kitchen was about the same as he left it this morning, with only a few missing elements such as the pizza boxes and frying pan. The dishes were still wear they have been all week but one little yellow paper stuck out above the rest. On the refrigerator a note with Blake’s handwriting listed Mia and Annabelle as two tenants showing up today.
The cell paused in its endless summoning rings, switching to voicemail. “At the tone please record a message.” The robotic voice informed Jeremy. “When you are finished recording you may hang up or-“
Jeremy hung up, silencing the automated voice. It was pointless. If Blake could get to the phone, he would. “Annabelle. That’s an interesting name.” he sighed, putting the phone back in his pocket.
There was another knock on the door. Forcing himself off the wall he went for his wallet again. As he opened the door the image of a smiling pimpled faced teenager holding out a delicious disc of awesomeness faded away, giving him the harsh reality of a pouty little girl in a summer red dress. “I want ice cream.” She demanded.
Jeremy blinked. “Excuse me?” not getting the answer she wanted she kicked him in the shin as hard as she could. Jeremy bit his lip, keeping the urge to yell down. He already cried enough for one day, and that was in the employee restroom around hour seven.
She made to push passed Jeremy but he caught her hand. “No. This isn’t your house. Go home or I’m calling the police for assault.” He really didn’t have time for this kind of crap right now, besides his shin really hurt. It almost override the sore in his nose. Almost.
The little girl began to cry. Tears streamed down her dark skin and her pigtails seemed to wag around as she dropped to the floor in a mad wine. Jeremy still had her arm, yet the little girl didn’t seem to care much as she somehow found a way to the ground bellowing the most pitiful crying he’d even seen.
Jeremy’s brain wasn’t exactly on its ‘A game’ today as it stalled to analyzed the present situation. It failed to pick up the footsteps behind him. A gasp, and his arm being jerked from the little girl. He felt something hard jam into his chin as his collided with the ceiling and then back down to earth, bouncing his temple off the doorknob. “GOD DAMN IT!!” he heard himself breathe through his chattering teeth.
“Serves you right.” Mia lectured, as she turned back to the little girl with the kindest and sweetest smile. “Hello there. Sorry about mean ol’Jeremy. Everything will be alright. What’s your name?”
The girl sniffled, her cries long gone. “A-Annabelle Morison.” Annabelle whispered, starring at the floor as if she had done something wrong but wouldn’t admit it. “And Daddy said I had to stay here while I go to school.”
“Summer courses? They’re a drag huh?”
“Yea.” Annabelle smiled up at Mia. “But I only need three more courses and I finish my degree.”
“You’re going to college.” Jeremy coughed, pulling himself off the floor. His ears still rang but at least the floor was keeping steady under his feet.
“I’m seven and a half.” Annabelle glared at him.
Mia laughed. “Jeremy’s a little slow. Don’t worry he’s harmless. Just make sure you lock your door at night. He tends to peek in.” She warned, picking up the matching red suit case on the sidewalk.
“DO NOT!” He yelled, or at least the thought he did. His head was feeling a little heavy. The two girls laughed as they made their way in completely ignoring Jeremy’s comment.
It was around this time the pizza got there and with the fortune of the gods the delivery boy had caught the whole ordeal on his camera phone. No doubt posting it to his wall on the newest hit spot on the web filled to the brim with advertisements and internet friends. So, now the world would be laughing at him.
He opened his wallet for the third time. “Huh. I thought I had a ten in here.” Shrugging it off, he paid the pizza boy, sending him on his way.
Before he walked in he placed a quick phone call to the pizza joint, Jeremy had a silent chuckle as he placed the pizza box on the kitchen counter. The delivery boy might be surprised to know he no longer had a job. Then he noticed the feet hanging off the couch arm.
Jeremy strolled in, knocking the woman’s feet off, them slamming to the floor. The woman with purple hair sat up. “Heeeeey.” She moaned groggily.
“Let me guess you saw an ad on Sherryslist and just decided to pop in.”
“Yup.” She yawned. “Names Lizzy. Ground rules are easy. Don’t wake me again, its magenta not purple hair, and don’t ask about the rope I keep in my bag.” She waved off lazily as she nodded off once more.
Jeremy stood there for a moment before he went back into the kitchen there was a certain computer and a very certain ad he had to remove.